Frustration, Thy Name is Nokia

Oh, Nokia. You manxome foe. You jellicle gigolo. You infinite tease of wondrous things, so close and yet so far from slaking my thirst for a handset rebirth. I wish I could quit you, yet I keep coming back to be disappointed.

Your recent bevy of reboots bore such promise. "Look, here's the phone you used twenty years ago, now with a 4G/LTE modem in it! Play Snake again! Isn't nostalgia one hell of a drug?" (Yes. Yes it is. I will happily snoot lines of nostalgia until time stands still.) But there's such a missed opportunity here. You could be leading the way for the "dumbphone" renaissance, irksome as that term may be. Instead of continuing to lean on your old hardware crutches and coughing out a flock of Series 30 devices, maybe you could take a look at all of the wonderful things that the Linux world has to provide?

Imagine, if you will, a world where you could produce devices that run mainline Linux. No longer would you be forced to shill for KaiOS (a truly respectable attempt, but plagued by the same pervy userdata obsession that has infected most modern tech companies). You could even start creating devices that aren't sporting potato-level VGA cameras! You could establish an entirely new paradigm in mobile handsets - the privacy-respecting, healthy phone.

My kingdom for a new N900 or N9.